From the Woman of Your Past
Originally written in 2013 | Updated in 2025
This is a semi-fictional and original work by Jonah Chipeco.
A Letter You Never Asked For
I’ve heard men say sorry on your behalf.
I was blessed to hear it from you, too.
But let me begin this letter not as a woman who was hurt—
but as someone who also knows you were hurting.
And for all the pain we caused each other,
let me write what may help you heal.
I’m sorry. And I hope you’ll understand.
I Left Without Closure
I left you hoping, hanging, and without answers.
Forgive me.
I was afraid of how you’d react.
I ran when I should’ve stayed and explained.
Sometimes, it’s not what I did—but what I failed to do.
I liked you deeply. But I didn’t show it.
Maybe I gave you a hard time without meaning to.
And when you waited for me to fight for us,
I stayed quiet. Too late to act. Too scared to try.
I Tried to Get Even
You weren’t the only one who strayed.
You saw someone else.
I was surrounded by men too—
but I entertained them to prove a point.
I wanted revenge. I wanted to feel in control.
But none of them gave what I was looking for.
What I wanted was you.
What I needed was healing.
Life Taught Me the Same Lessons
I played with your feelings because I didn’t know better.
I was immature, selfish.
Now I understand how you felt—
because someone else broke my heart, too.
Life has a way of teaching through reflection.
I became obsessed with the idea of “us.”
I feared being alone.
I clung to you, forgetting you had your own life to live.
When I finally let go, I realized I’d neglected mine.
There was so much of me I had to rebuild.
I Crossed Boundaries I Should’ve Respected
I stirred your desires and offered a kind of affection
I wasn’t ready to commit to.
That wasn’t all your fault.
I awakened a part of you
that should have been reserved for the woman you’d marry.
But I knew, even then—
I wasn’t her.
I Made It About Me
I demanded too much.
Your happiness became my lifeline.
I depended on you to feel good about myself.
And in trying to please me,
you lost parts of you that needed to grow.
I should’ve listened more.
I should’ve given you space—without giving up.
We might’ve had a chance…
if I didn’t insist on having my way.
I Took the Lead—and Took Too Much
I robbed you of your chance to lead.
I always called the shots.
I withheld support when you needed it most.
I kept my praise silent,
not realising how deeply you needed to hear it.
But truthfully?
I believed in you.
I just didn’t want to let go of control.
I Wasn’t Honest with Myself
I gave in to things that didn’t align with my convictions
just to keep the peace.
And in doing so, I broke parts of myself.
I tolerated too much.
I avoided correcting you—
even when love should have spoken truth.
I Loved You More Than I Loved Myself
That was my real mistake.
Will you forgive me?
So that you can love the woman you’re with now—fully?
I don’t know her. But I feel what she feels.
Please don’t make her carry the weight of my choices.
She is not me.
And maybe she’s ready.
Ready to love you right.
Please trust her.
It Wasn’t All Pain
Not all our memories were bitter.
Some were beautiful.
Some still live in my heart like soft echoes.
And I would truly be happy
to hear you’ve created sweeter ones—with someone else.
What I Know Now
Love was unclear to me for a long time.
But I’ve learned—
No one on earth can love us perfectly.
That’s why we ache, why we long,
why we hurt each other in the process.
But I don’t regret us.
Because it was through you
that I learned how to heal,
how to take care of myself first,
and how to be ready
to love someone again.
From the Woman of Your Past is part of Jonah Chipeco’s Letters to John series.
Next: The Girl in Your Present
Followed by: Your Future Queen
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